I hurt you, but still long for your presence......

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This was written by me, way back in December 2015.
Hi, girl I know that I have hurt you,
I know that I don't deserve you,
But my heart, it just doesn't let you go,
Even when I know that you too have hurt me sometimes,
My heart still, still it does not want you to go,
I know that  I'm not worth it,
But I still end up thinking about you,
Every day & night,
Relating to one topic or another, you come to my mind,
And then I can't help it,
I end up having imaginary conversations with you.
And yes I know I have hurt you,
 But I still care for you,
undoubtedly, I still want to make you happy,
But after all  that has happened,
I think talking to you will only remind you,
of the sadness, of the pain & suffering I caused.
But hey, I never wanted to make you cry.
After my first love, you are the only girl for whom,
I cried, I hurt myself, thinking that
I may be able to pay for my sins that way,
But it was of no use, it made me fell even more WORTHLESS,
And the truth to be told my dear,
is that I felt that if I can only hurt people,
I should just DIE and then,
I tried to get myself into an accident,
But yet again... I couldn't kill myself,
You know, when I came to know that...
That I made you cry, that I hurt you,
I felt like a criminal,
I had no intention of hurting you, i loved you.
I really did love you,
I tried to hurt myself several times, with different instruments,
And now when i look into your eyes,
I feel as if you are talking to me,
I feel love.... in your eyes,
 I don't know what you think of me,
But if you wish to kill me,
I am ready to die happily,
I will do anything to fix
The things I have broken,
I am sorry foe what I did,
For those confessions that broke your heart,
For my thinking that made a monster,
I know that I have hurt you,
And there's nothing I can do to mend your soul.
All i can do, is say sorry.

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